Re-work with the S.A.S.

One of my favourite definitions of sin is this:  Trying to be something you were not created to be.

One of the worst things that can happen to a person is that you become successful at something you were not created be….   So often because we see success in a particular area we assume what we are doing must be what we are supposed to be doing.    However if you’re ever caught in this scenario  it can often cause a deep rooted crisis within you.

Ever wondered why so many famous people have so many issues or why so many wealthy people are not happy…. 

The mind-set and culture we currently live in allows a person to believe that unless you are successful you carry no real value.   (Check out what sociologists introduced as social Darwinism in 1877). 

Quite early on in the development of mankind we find that humanity has always had a deep need for:

Significance

Acceptance

Security

Let’s refer to the above as the S.A.S

Push any of us to a place where we don’t feel these three things and you’ll notice that strange things start to happen:   We start to live from a performance mentality.   We try our hand at perfectionism but that generally only make our life or the lives of those around us very hard work.

There is a distinguishable difference between Perfectionism and Excellence.   

• PERFECTIONISM is the fear of being wrong.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is the willingness to be wrong and to learn from it.
• PERFECTIONISM is seeing any effort that doesn’t turn out exactly as planned as failure.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is seeing any effort that doesn’t turn out exactly as planned as a valuable opportunity to refine the plan and make it better.
• PERFECTIONISM is fear that others might think you don’t measure up.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is a desire to be the best you can be.
• PERFECTIONISM is staying stuck in anger and frustration.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is growing beyond where you ever expected to grow.
• PERFECTIONISM is confining.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is freeing.
• PERFECTIONISM is conformity to presuppositions.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is exploring new possibilities.
• PERFECTIONISM is prejudging and rejecting any new possibilities.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is embracing them as they prove themselves worthwhile.
• PERFECTIONISM is seeking to win admiration without giving anything of value in return.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is giving something better of yourself to others.
• PERFECTIONISM is self-doubt.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is confidence.
• PERFECTIONISM is closing yourself off.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is opening yourself up.
• PERFECTIONISM is remaining right where you’ve always been.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is a journey of discovery.
• PERFECTIONISM is a determination to defend an unproductive status quo.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is a surrender to a greater good.
• PERFECTIONISM is fear.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is trust.
• PERFECTIONISM is selfishness.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is selflessness.
• PERFECTIONISM is a desperate and futile attempt to avoid rejection that you already expect as an absolute certainty.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is the openness to explore and the expectation that that exploration will ultimately lead to something better
• PERFECTIONISM is the fear that something unpleasant will come from your efforts.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is an excitement over the improvements that you will help discover.
• PERFECTIONISM is the expectation that your results will improve by continuing to do things in ways that have always failed in the past.
  THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is a willingness always to find better, more effective ways.
• PERFECTIONISM is a desire to stay exactly as you are and hope that doing so will make the world around you more compliant to your desires.THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE is a sincere desire to become all that God has made you capable of being as you make things better for others.

God never created a single thing for our approval.   He made all things for our discovery.

It’s interesting to see how our approach to creativity lines up with God’s approach to creativity.   We create and immediately need approval.   If we don’t find that approval we will almost always revert to something that gets the approval of those around us.

Please understand I am not saying don’t have wise counsel but I wonder how many of us have allowed yourselves to be moulded into something you were never created to be.  

Before you were formed in your mother’s tummy there was a plan for your life that no one else would ever fulfil.   The only way to fulfil that plan is to be true to who you were made to be.   There’s something that is so liberating when we actually cut the crap, stop being manipulated by a lie and get back to the TRUTH of that plan.

No matter what you feel about who you are and what you can do there is a higher truth that isn’t dependant on your feelings, your successes or your failures. 

I wish all Businesses, Schools, Families and Religious groups could operate such a culture of honour that they set people free to be who they were created to be.

Re-work the way you think.  Rather than working to feel like the S.A.S.(Significant, Accepted and Secure).  Why not agree with the Truth that you already are significant, you are already accepted and you are already secure and live your life from that stand point.

Placing a plan behind your dreams..

Have you ever sat down and thought 'What If'. 

It's interesting how so many people don't like practicing things:  The brain doesnt seem to like practice or limitations which is why so many of us give up on so many of the things we intend to do.  More increasingly if something doesnt provide quick gratification we can struggle to see the value in it or stick with it.

Giving up Smoking
Going to the gym
Learning a new language
Saving/Investing
Eating more healthily

Practice invites you to embrace failure and that doesn't feel great so we generally feel like giving up or actually do give up.

Anything worth doing is worth running the risk of failing at.

It's interesting that most of us will regularly have 'What If'  thoughts....      We can imagine a future where change has already taken place but doing the hard work to bring about that change almost always requires us to practice something.

Have you ever had an idea for an invention or a business or something.   For whatever reason you decided not to do anything about your idea, or maybe you didn't know where to start.   Years or sometimes months later you find out that someone else has developed the very thing you were thinking about.   How come they got to do it and you didn't?

Did you know the average 17 year old has heard the words 'NO YOU CAN'T' over 150,000 times!    The words YES YOU CAN are heard on average less than 8,000 times.   

Througout our lives we are conditioned to be boxed in by limitations we can only see possibilities has something that is somehow abstract to us.

Negative thinking is learnt behaviour......
Have you ever heard a toddler talking negatively?   At what point in life do we start being negative?

When we think negatively we create neuropathways in our brain.   This isn't the only way that neuropathways are created.  But it's one of the most dangerous ways.    Our brain prefers to be in a place of comfortable thinking - that's why these things call neuropathways exist.    They are generally created, physically carved out by habbitual behaviour.   If we attempt to do anything that is outside of our existing neuropathways (habbits of thinking or behaviour) our brain attempts to do whatever it can
to get us back to a palce where we feel comfortable again.    That's why it's harder to start a new good habbit or break a bad one.

My challenge to you is to make yourself accountable to someone for bringing about change in your own personal life.   If you dont know how to get started use this as a guide.

Look at the following areas of your Life:

Work
Relationships
Family
Living Enviroment
Lifestyle

Think about what you would like each of these areas to look like.
Think about what is currently stopping you from achieving/having what you want.
What beliefs have you accepted in order for these limitations to be in place.
What do you need to believe in order to allow yourself to see oppotunites rather than limits.

If you've been able to follow these steps you've already made a great achievement.    What happens next is up to you.  Rather than keeping your answers to yourself why not disucss your answers with someone you trust and ask that person to check in with you every now and again to find out how your progressing in changing your 'What If's'  into realities.

Thanks for reading this, please let me know your thoughts (good or bad)
Jools